My Goal of writing monthly has not been met. It has been a hot summer here in Sarasota Florida with lots of gratitude that we all have our jobs and lots of worry because our income has stayed the same yet our gas and food bills have increased dramatically. Our faithful automatic garage door (that we've repaired every year since we moved into this house) finally broke beyond repair......and the good news is that we have a beautiful, dependable new garage door, motor and rails...the bad news it that it cost $1,500. With a little one in the house, we have to invest in a pool fence because we just can't afford not to. The number of children drowning in pools is still too high and we're creating a safety zone for this little angel.

Speaking of the heat, we've got one more month of hot before we get some much welcome relief. On 9-13, Heather, Madison, Me and my Mom are going to head North to South Carolina to meet sister/aunt/daughter Marilyn for a week's vacation. It's going to be Madison's first road trip - with 10 hours expected each way.

There isn't much to report really, we hear from Joe every week or so and that's always a breath of relief. We'll hold the majority of our holiday celebration this year until he gets home in February and we try to send a care pacakge every month.  He'll be 21 in September so we'll try to make that package extra special.

Madison is attempting words and while she still trips herself every once in a while, she' walking quite well. She loves spending her mornings with her Nana and Saturday's with her Grand-Mother and her Pop-Pop is often home on Saturday's too. I love it when she backs up to me and let's me know she needs some lap time.

I am investigating returning to school in a year or two. If I am accepted into the Women's Studies Master's Program, I will have to go as a graduate assistant so that I can work for the department and get some pay and at the same time, I'll study towards my degree. The Women's Studies department at the University of South Florida is smaller than it was in 2005. It seems that at present, American women are content with what we have. Earning .75 to a man's $1.00, lack of appropriate and affordable child care, little support from employers and clear discrimination when it comes to promotions if a woman doesn't choose work over family. It was pretty funny to see McCain's face when Palin was talking about the glass ceiling and how it's cracking up --- not that it's cracking up because trust me, it's still solid as a brick, but McCain looked like he wanted to throw up. Like he was going to have to bite his tongue off.

Ya'll take good care now,  ET

Greetings Earthlings: 

Yes I have given this idea a lot of thought since my arrival in Florida in 1994 knowing no one (except family) and I have had many realizations about it.  Keep in mind that these have been my realizations and of course they may not be the same as others.  I even thought about a friendship connection like Match.com except for just friends……..and other ideas too about how to get women together who want to establish relationships with other women.  Living in Va Beach my whole life, found me in a network of friends that formed naturally.  Moving to Sarasota brought relationship challenges that I had not yet faced.

I found out that where a woman is in her life has a lot to do with who she wants to connect with………..married/single……preschool, elementary, teenage or adult children – or maybe no children……..family in town or not…..religious and political views or lack there or……level of maturity and even hobbies or interests…..there is much to match up……..then it’s a question of time,,,,,how much time does one want to invest and what are they willing to do to produce a relationship…….some people want lots of surface friends and some want a few very deep friendships (these are the ones that take literally years to build)……..and there have been times in my life when I wanted a friend to talk to so bad, I could have wept, and probably did…..then other times when my life was full to overflowing with relationships and of course these times are when I meet the neatest people.

I thought about wearing a sign “would you be my friend” – but of course that was silly because I don’t want people to think I’m that needy, and nor do a lot of people want to be that “needed” by a new friend.

So, my personal solution was to start being in the same place at the same time and just keep going……to trust that over time relationships would be built and I was right – they were.  I joined a support group and went for many weeks and after a time, two of these women (in a group of 14) became my friends…..we go out for dinner and drinks once a month or so to catch up.  I also learned to take a chance and invite someone new to watch a movie or have dinner and be okay with a “no”.  I’ve also learned to take it slow – one thing that I’ve learned is that while I love to drink a glass of fine wine with a friend, I don’t feel comfortable with women who abuse alcohol.

In Challenge, (the Program I now direct) I was introduced to the concept that if I wanted to have a friend, I had to be a friend first and that I had to absolutely be my own best friend.  I learned to care for myself and my friends the same way and I came to understand that before I could receive (to me that felt like an issue of trust) I had to first give and prove myself to be worthy of a relationship…and sometimes that took literally months…..and I learned that I don’t want to be friends with anyone…….I want very specific things in my relationships now and although that might change based on other things going on in my life, the core of it doesn’t change.  When I am with people focused on the stars, I look up too, and when I’m with people looking for the cracks in the sidewalk, then I do that too --- I guess that makes me to much of a follower – but anyway, I want to be with people who want to be with me and who feel about some core issues the same way that I do and I want to be with people who just let me be me and they love me anyway, without judgment and without, well, judgment.

I think friendships are the same as relationships with a significant other.  There aren’t many people out there just for me – and I am not the “one” for a lot of people.  That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with me, or with them….it’s just not a match for whatever reason.

With an adult child and a new baby in the house, a full time job that I have only been at for a year and 9 months, a part time Creative Memories business, 3 dogs, a busy husband, and a physically exhausting year, my idea of conncection involves a glass of Sangria and my new hot tub - listening to music that I select on my very cool speakers that don't look like speakers.......

So that’s what’s going on in my head about this topic…………I enjoyed sharing it with you!

Greetings and Salutations,

I am finding myself very busy this week as we prepare to fly to North Carolina for the Green Beret ceremony for son Joe (I won't use "Joey" in public anymore).  It will be the end of a hard 2 1/2 years of training for our 20 year old.  After the ceremony, he won't be so close in North Carolina anymore, he will be stationed at Fort Carson Colorado.  The word is that he'll be there for 6 months as he integrates into a unit.  Joe is an engineer.  That means he is in charge of everything that comes into the unit or goes out of it, the condition and storage. 

Some of you may know that daughter Heather had baby Madison this past May.  Mom and baby live in an apartment attached to our house and Heather appreciates the physical and emotional support of Madison's Grandparents.  4 days a week, Grandma takes Madison to Nana's house in the morning on the way to work.  Not often, but some days I am very tired by the time I even get to work.  Madison is a joy and  I have to stop telling her that I will buy her a pony if she stops crying.  One of these days, she's going to say "that's great grandma, let's go get it now!"

The next week, Sister Marilyn, her hubby, me and mine are going to a timeshare vacation on the island of Crete in the country of Greece.  We'll be gone for about 9 days spending time on the islands and the last day site seeing in the city of Athens.

I work for a nonprofit here in Sarasota called the Women's Resource Center of Sarasota County.  You can check it out on the web if you want at www.thewomensresourcecenter.org I am the Challenge Program director, the staff Volunteer Department Liaison and the Peer Trainer for the County of Sarasota.  We have 4 locations throughout the county.

I am a Creative Memories Consultant and would be happy to sell you any scrapbooking supplies.  No need for us to live nearby, you can shop from me at www.mycmsite.com/elainetaylor and your order will be shipped directly to your door.  Sure could use the business as this is a new venture for me.  I am doing much scrapbooking as I finish up Joe's books that have been in the making since about 1994.  I anticipate working on my international albums next and then (or maybe at the same time) get started on Madison's.

It's not been the best year for me physically.  A motorcycle accident the end of February, flues and colds, have a bug right now --- motto as I look toward the next year is that "It's going to be great in 2008!" 

I sometimes think that someday I may try to write a book or two and keep notes around so that when I'm ready I'll still have the ideas.  I think our hardest task on this earth is one of personal relationships which is why so many people bury themselves with work.......work is pretty clear, folks poop on you, you poop on others, there are rules of behavior, company handbooks, and if you don't like it, you can always move on.  Yes, the development of meaningful relationships is a difficult (and untaught) skill.

We have 3 Miniature Schnauzers "Mitzie"-currently recovering from a stroke, Cookie and Baby Duncan.  He's only a baby because he's the youngest.........Heather has a kitty cat named Angel and she really is.  I tell folks that they let us live here and pay the bills....that's about the truth of it too.

I like to have philosophical conversations like this:

I think we are just beings trying to get our needs met in a complicated world.  We can justify what we do when it's necessary, but it's sometimes difficult to see another person's perspective - especially if they've "interfered" with our needs, wants, or agenda. I often check in to see what I am justifying.

My son is in the Army.  To me, he is a defender of freedom.  That is how I justify being so happy for him that he is happy in his job.

Cooler weather is around the corner, it's been a long hot summer and we recently remodeled our pool.  It will be lovely to throw open all the doors and sip my coffee out there on cool mornings.  We love company and have an adequate guest room.  We are not "hovering" hosts however, you'll be given a house key and encouraged to buy a road map and we'll tell you our personal favorite local sites.

This "xanga" is all new to me - not even sure if anyone will even get this, or how that happens.

With computers and television and work hours that extend well past 40, community gatherings and company for dinner has turned into a luxury......supporting relationship theory above.

Happy October to All and to All a Good Night!

Elaine Joy Taylor